family wellness

All the Lessons 2018 Taught Me

Happy New Year!

The start of a new year always makes me reflect on the last year and what a year 2018 turned out to be…

My sweet daughter turned one whole year old. My eldest lost FOUR teeth and won his first medal in his first chess tournament. My middle learned to ride a bike without training wheels and began to write and read. We took the boys on their first real camping trip. I managed to carpool three kids to three different schools (do not recommend). I ran my first half marathon. Now & Gen celebrated its first anniversary and we hit one MILLION followers (holy sh*t, you guys!).

It’s been a wonderful whirlwind and I think I succeeded and failed multiple times at all things. In fact, I kinda feel like I fumbled my way through most of 2018 – and not very gracefully. But that’s what it’s all about, right? We live and learn, and I definitely did a lot of learning this year…

Some lessons of 2018:

#1. I’m bad at saying no.

I don’t want to let family or friends down so I overcommit myself. Then I end up doing too much without doing things well—or being fully present—which ALSO makes me feel like I’m letting people down. It’s a crazy-making cycle of guilt I am determined to break in 2019!

#2. I can’t make everybody like me

This is a hard one because I’m a people pleaser at heart. Of course I want some people to like me, but it’s not possible or really even desirable to be liked by everyone all the time. We are not always going to agree on politics, or fashion, or parenting and that’s ok. It’s my path and my journey and as long as I’m respectful and stay true to myself then I can’t worry about what other people think.

#3. Stop and smell the dirty diapers

As hard as this phase is with the kids, I also love it because they are so sweet and spunky. I’ve got to remember to enjoy the small things because the time flies by so quickly.

#4. It’s ok to ask for help

Three kids is no joke. With Jared gone during the week and my family in California, I’ve realized I need as much help as I can get from in-laws, other mom friends and our nanny. It takes a village and sometimes I have a hard time admitting that because I feel guilty (shouldn’t I be able to do it on my own?) and I know we are extremely lucky to be able to afford childcare. I think it’s important to be honest about how challenging it is—even in the best of circumstances—so moms (and dads) don’t feel guilty asking for help. However you can find it—a nanny, daycare, grandparents, mom group or babysitting-swap with a friend—we all deserve support and a little time to take care of ourselves.

#5. Always make time for date night

I thought scheduling time with your partner was lame and unromantic…until I had kids. Finding time for your significant other with little ones is SO HARD. It started to feel like Jared and I were dating again—and not in a good way. It was a “When is he going to call me?!” or “What did they mean by that text??” kind of way that made us both feel a little hurt. Our schedules were always out of sync, making it easy to misread situations or read too much into things. We finally started scheduling proper date nights and it. changed. everything. Now we sit down and look at our calendar for the month and block out time just for us. We’re usually home by 10pm and half the time we spend the night talking about the kids anyway, but it really helps to reconnect and get back to the basics of dating and flirting again.

#6. It’s ok to shine

This fall, I joined the boys and ran the Seattle half marathon. I finished faster than I expected and was really proud of myself, but kept downplaying it whenever someone congratulated me or acknowledged my time. My instinct was to blow it off as a fluke, like I just stumbled into it by accident. But the truth is, I worked REALLY hard! I ran my heart out and was excited about how well I did, but admitting that somehow felt impolite or braggy. Why? I’m now training for the Boston marathon and I don’t want to hide how excited I am about it or how proud I am of myself for committing to it. We’re always so fixated on what we didn’t do or what someone else did that we didn’t. Maybe we’d stop doing that if we gave ourselves permission to celebrate ourselves a little too?

#7. Embrace growing pains

I was so excited to start this blog. I’d been looking for a creative outlet and thought it would be a fun way to connect with you and share my perspective and curiosity. The response was incredible—and slightly terrifying. I had no idea it would take off as fast as it did and I definitely wasn’t prepared to support it (in case you’ve ever wondered about my erratic blogging schedule, haha). It’s been a crazy learning curve and I’m incredibly grateful for your encouragement and support as I figure it all out. I have big dreams for Now & Gen and can’t wait to share them all with you!

I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to share my resolutions for 2019. I’ve just never liked making them because they always seem too rigid, as if I was setting myself up for failure. I think it’s better to reflect on where you’ve been and use it as a road map to set your intentions for where you want to go—with the understanding that life can sometimes take you on the scenic route…and that’s ok! There are lots of different ways to get to arrive at same place.

My intentions for 2019:

  • Read more
  • Be less afraid
  • Hone in on the power of my own voice
  • Stretch more, do more yoga and eat more veggies
  • Be 15 minutes early instead of 15 minutes late
  • Create less waste
  • Get more sleep
  • And forgive myself if I accomplish none of these

What did you learn in 2018? What are your intentions for 2019? Is there anything you’d like to see more of from Now & Gen this year? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

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  • Duckie

    Though I’ll never understand the negativity you receive, I think it’s great that you’re going to try and let go of wanting everyone to like you. Be you! It’s your life, live it how you want to live it. Its not that I agree 100% with everything you say -for example I don’t really care about fashion – but it’s your blog & your story. Don’t bend to fit anyone else’s ideal

    You’re an amazing, caring & nurturing individual so ignore the haters. Those who matter, love you. And those who don’t love you, don’t matter

    Happy New Year!

  • Shauna

    I think one one if my biggest goals for 2019 is too slow down. I feel like I’m always in rush, waiting for the next big thing in my life to happen. I’m trying to live in the moment now and not be in such a big hurry for life to happen.:)
    Hope you and your family have happy and healthy new year.❤❤

    • Charlie Tague

      One of my goals for 2019 is to be more aware of self-care physically, mentally and spiritually. I am hitting 55 this year and thought I would be cruising towards retirement and some much needed “me” and “we” time. However, when we plan the universe simply smiles. We are raising three grandchildren as well as getting our last adopted child out into the world as an adult. It is incredibly hard to raise kids in this world, especially when entering the phase of life when health issues pop up like weeds. I am thankful for my job and that we can provide what our family needs. I have realized that at 55 and 71 my husband and I need to tend to ourselves to make sure we can maintain the pace that every parent knows is required. Although it is harder as we get older, it is still worth the effort……it is good to know that we are not in this alone and to be reminded that we are better able to help others when we are our best selves. Please lift us up as we lift you and your readers in 2019! Thanks for the blog and the forum to find peace on the journey.

    • Corinne

      No matter how terrible things may seem just push through and you will make it. Also people definitely suck

    • Heather

      2019 is going to be a big year in our house. My daughter graduates from high school and will be heading off to university in the fall. My husband and I are celebrating25 years of marriage this September. I’m trying to take the time to slow down and enjoy these moments because they won’t come again. Take care and enjoy this new year:)

    • brenda shaw

      My goal is to find better help with my long standing depression . I talk to a nice man once a month but we usually talk about my cats , its not helping . I have been trying for11 years . Now Im going to demand , yell scream do whatever I have to . I need help , real help . I need someone to hear me .

    • Rebecca

      I just want to first say i absolutely adore your beautiful family! ❤ Second let me be the first to admit i am not perfect, please love yourself you do wonderful things and you should be proud of your accomplishments!! Much love from Nebraska
      Rebecca S.

  • Alesia

    You inspire me to be more active. I almost 60 and have some health issues. But I read your words and I am making it my goal to walk for at least 30 minutes each day. Probably 3 10 minute walks.(leg brace hurts if on to long). Thank you. ♡ love

  • Jam

    Omg Gen! You’re so lovely ??. I wish the best for you and your family, so much love, happiness, joy, the best to y’all. Happy 2019! Looking forward to nowandgen’s updates, love you, love to read your words, it changes my day, my week, my life, really! You changed me into a better person. English is not my official language, I’m sorry for the mistakes, but I had to say it. Xo

  • Lily Wood

    These are such wonderful lessons Gen. You’ve really inspired a lot of people in your life time. You’re a wonderful mother, woman, wife, friend, and role model. Good luck on your resolutions!

  • Lily

    These are wonderful lessons Gen. You are such an inspiration to so many people. You’re a wonderful mother, wife, friend and role model; don’t ever forget that. I wish you and your family the best of wishes this new year!

  • Lily

    These are such marvelous lessons. You are such an inspiration to so many people. You’re a great mother, wife, friend and role model; done forget that. I wish you and your beautiful family the best of wishes this new year!

  • Eileen

    These are great lessons, thank you for sharing them with us. Keep on keeping on, Gen.

  • Orla Holloway

    Hi Gen! You’ve inspired me to do a lot of new things and be confident. My goals this year are
    – Work on my mental state
    – Be happy
    -Be confident
    – Help others
    I love you ???

  • Sabrina

    I love that you’re running the Boston Marathon with Jared, it’s always a big day here and I plan to try to take my 2 and 4 year old down to cheer you and all the other runners on. Good luck it’s a hard course, my husband ran it before. With that being said what I learned in 2018 that taught me to listen to myself and my limits is I ran a half marathon injured. While I did finish it, it’s taken me many months to recover which both humbled and frustrated me. My goal is to run another half when I’m better but listen to my body and NOT run injured this time.

  • Kelli McMellon

    I’ve warched the show from the beginning, and have watched all through your part and how you became this pre ious family! I love how you acknowledge the hard parts AND the good parts, and I love how hard you work at it! Thank you!

  • Samantha

    You’ve had quite a year! Date night is vital! Hubs and I try to go out once a week. We also do an annual anniversary getaway. No kids allowed! It’s worked for us we’ve been married 31 years now. It does go fast. Enjoy your babies! You have a beautiful family!

  • Jessie

    What I’ve learned in 2018: patience. With loved ones, myself, and every day life. It has helped me to not be too quick to assume or anger or judge. Also learned to figure out my true self and not be afraid to be that person.
    My intentions for 2019: read more, travel often (already have few things lined out), and push myself more in my workouts!!!

  • Maddie Bullock

    One think I can think of that I want for myself this year is to be comfortable with the things I can’t change. I was born with something called Hydrocephalus(and I suffer from chronic headaches that literally never goes away) and if nothing changes(and if it’s possible) I want to be okay with that. I’d love to see how you handle your struggles mentally, I’m always up for new ways to better myself.

  • Cass

    I found myself nodding through most of this, and we only have one kid! You’re a rockstar. We’re also a family blessed to be able to afford a part time nanny, and I felt so so guilty asking for help. But I realized some work time in the office is what I need to be the best version of myself, for me and my kid and husband. We need to all remember that although we are moms, it’s not our entire identity, and it’s healthy to show your kids how to live that balance as well! ?

  • Michelle

    2018 was a big year of learning and forgiving. Most importantly it taught me that time is so important. I’ve been battling lyme disease for quite some time and this year I got a little ahead of myself in trying to get well and it made me sicker. So 2019 is going to be great.. I turn 40 in under three weeks and am so grateful that I am alive to see it! My life may not he perfect right now and I have been housebound for months but the time is coming and I cant wait to be able to live again. So grateful for life, the ups and downs and healing.

  • Cindy

    Thank you, Gen, for being so real with us. I appreciate it and you. This was a very relatable post because I can feel the same way, at times.
    My a decent about of intentions for 2019.

    I want to have a more active lifestyle. It sucks having a desk job. I need to get back into yoga, as well.

    I’d like to create more art for me and not what I think other people want me to make.

    I defintiely want to read more. I miss getting lost into a the pages of a book.

    I also want to try to create more meaningful friendships with people. I’ve always been somewhat reserved and kept to myself but maybe I’ll be able to open up more and not be afraid to let people in.

    We got this! 🙂

  • Issy

    I’m a mother of 2 and I graduated last year at 36 yrs old. Sometimes,I’m hard on myself and I have difficulties to keep resolutions . I said some at the beginning of the year and I forget them. You inspired me to do things differents this year. I will keep reading you. You’re articles are always on point and always about pur concerns.
    Sorry for my English,I’m bilingual but my first language is French. Take care and have a beautiful beginning of the year

  • Susie

    I learned I can take on more than I thought but that I shouldn’t. We are foster parents and adopted a sibling set of 3 under 5 years old. We have fit in all the therapy and special appts they need and I still work and bike tee at our local fostercare group. It took me a year but I finally realized I could but I shouldn’t. I totally relate to what you are saying. I need to be more present with my kids and let go of the stuff I think I should do. Thank you for sharing your year.

  • Kelly

    Your last resolution is the most important! Even as we set goals (always important to strive toward SOMETHING) life happens and our time disappears (I have four kids. ) You look up and hey, where did my good intentions to do (fill in the blank) go?? That’s the time to say, “What I DID do was important, too. And, actually, I did a lot of things amazingly well!” So, good on me. Not, “I suck because I didn’t eat better or lose the 10 pounds or call my mother once a week.” We dismiss what we do well (as you did for the half marathon, which, hey, you did AWESOME) and focus on what we didn’t accomplish. Let’s resolve to change that paradigm, please. Happy 2109!

  • Jennifer

    I ended 2018 with a different household that it started. My youngest (and last baby) was off to college. Mostof my time was spent alone catching up on Supernatural so I could understand Season 14. But I also noticed I was hiding out in the basement more and getting quiet. This is not my default personality. (Former cheerleader…)
    My husband and I have been together for over 22 years now and he is not the social butterfly that I am. I am by nature a goofy person, love to talk and visit with people (even strangers) and just be doing things ALL THE TIME. So over the last month I got off the couch and followed the #BadIdeaTour with moving around again. VERY slowly.
    I too am a people pleaser and have been for, well, all my life. It is only recently that I am discovering my own style, and voice – and she is pretty sassy.
    2019 will be a year of motion for me – and the new mantra is “What’s next”
    -Training and finishing my first ever 1/2 Marathon
    – continue to teach my Aqua Zumba classes
    – eat better
    – read more (you and Pellegrino keep the book lists coming)
    – and learn more about myself and the limits that I should be testing and breaking.

    I will be running by your side – Bring it on 2019 – CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! 🙂

  • Shilpa Chandra

    To be myself again. Not subconsciously trying to win approval. Have the courage to say what I want to honestly without sugar coating it or being down right rude. Stop putting off things to take care of later especially where my health is concerned. I don’t have to matyre myself for my family. They still love me as I am. Four resolutions of yours resonated with me: Do more Yoga (I am yet to start even after paying up), 15 minutes early not 15 minutes late (story of my life), sleep more definitely and create less waste by learning to compost at home and lessening my carbon footprint on earth.
    If I can manage these in 2019, I will be truly happy!

  • Angelkaderu

    I think it is so important to look back on the year and see the things you accomplished instead of looking at the things you didn’t do. I’m extremely proud of you for going for the Boston Marathon! I will be doing my first 5k this year. That’s small potatoes compared to your accomplishments but I will still be proud of myself when it is over. I can look forward to more challenges in the future but be glad that I started when I did. My biggest accomplishment for 2018 was to drop 50 pounds. I am planning to get to my goal weight by this summer. I learned that all I have to do is make a goal, make a plan and stick to it and I can accomplish anything! You are such an inspiration! Much love!

  • Diana Bjork

    I just want to say how much I absolutely love this. It made me see how much you are just like me. Many people seem to think that because you are a celebrity means that you live differently. I want more people to read your blogs then maybe they will realize that just because you have a big house, fancy things and more money doesn’t mean you aren’t like anyone else, you have fears, goals and you need up just like any other mom. I’m 34 and a mom of 4 and just like you I only see my husband on the weekends. However, unlike you I don’t get help, we can’t afford it so most days I want to rip my hair out. I truly think reading your blogs will help me cope. I need someone to take me under their wing as I don’t have friends because, well, I don’t have time to. I can’t go out and because I can’t go out no one even cares to talk to me. ??‍♀️ The last time I went out was actually when I watch y’all run the marathon in Seattle. I stood next to you as we waited for the guys to cross the finish line. Anyway, just know that I am so proud of you for many things and I love how real you are. I hope one day that we can build a friendship and that you can be someone I can turn to when I’m having a harder than usual kind of day. You Rock, Gen. always remember that!

  • Amy

    2018 was a eye opener for me. I learned very hard lessons. The first was that i do have limitations with lupus. I have been trying to do everything and physically it was killing me. I have to learn to say no. Second lesson was to let go of the past. I am finally separated after 25 years from a verbally abusive man. I’m learning that its ok to take care of me. This year, I’m going to take care of me. I can’t make lupus go away but i can try to put it in remission. Time for me to fight for me.

  • Nan

    Thank you for being so candid. I’m trying to teach my 8 year old that it doesn’t matter if you are “famous”, etc….we are all still human…..first! We have the same fears, anxieties, hopes and dreams. I grew up in a home with a depressed mother, and I deal,with that now too…..but you know what? It’s OK! I plan, in 2019, to like myself more, accept who I am….and enjoy the moments in life!

  • Denise Barlow

    I am one of your “older” fans. I love reading your blogs and seeing how you grow as a person, wife and mother. Your thoughts and comments about life remind me so much of myself when I was a young mother of four. You’re doing a great job. Continue staying focused on the positive.

  • Alison

    You know what, if you fall asleep in a book that’s no.1 and no.7 achieved!! My goodness your list looks ambitious – they’re all about fitting things in, which can depend on so much other than you – that’s why I love your last point most.
    I try to aim for one thing achieved each day – get to X on time, or get a, b & c done no matter when they happen, or leave for [my time thing] on the dot. I only have two kids but sometimes I think they’re hiding a third with all their shenanigans, and it often feels like us against the clock.
    I hope you feel a success every day. Thank you for sharing your honest findings – it’s such a gift and there really is power in that act. ❤️

  • Brinna Gosche

    I loved this post Gen! I think a big thing I learned (and am still learning) is that change happens and it’s not always a bad thing. I’ve also learned that I need to take things slower and not let perfection stress me out as much. Sophomore year has been a difficult one, but my intention for this semester is to take it slower and not let it stress me out as bad. My intentions for 2019 is to finally learn to drive, get out more, and to try and realize that asking for help is actually a strength, not a weakness.

  • Sarah

    Thank you for being so amazing and inspiring, I have anxiety and depression disorders, ptsd and insomnia, but in 2018 I finally learnt that not everything in the world is my fault and that other people need to take responsibility for their actions. I am still struggling with coming to terms with everything, but am now in the care of a wonderful psychiatrist and they are going to help me make 2019 a better year than the last 40! (I turned 41 today!!) Thank you again.

  • Hailey Owens

    Gen, thank you so much for this post. 2018 was an amazing but rough year. I moved, lost my dad, started learning guitar, and saw the Eagles in concert. This year I am continuing my degree pursuit in nursing and training for the Tough Mudder. You inspire me so much!

  • Shannon

    I like what you wrote about how it’s OK to shine. I downplay my accomplishments all the time too and I’m not sure why. We need to celebrate our successes and own our power and confidence. Happy New Year to you and I look forward to seeing more of your journey.

  • Emma O'Brennan-Pizer

    Really need to do the date nights! So hard to get time together when you have kids. Need to make it a priority.

  • Jordy

    For me, my goal is to take more time for myself and my projects. I’ve found myself without a job currently, and instead of sulking about it, I want to use this time. I want to work on my blog more and consistently post (the end of 2018 was not kind to me and I sort of lost motivation). I also want to continue working on my YouTube channel, which has been a scary side project for me – just so afraid of failure or embarassing myself. Most importantly, I just want to keep building my portfolio – take more photos, build my brand and my skills. This will help me land that dream job I’m looking for.

  • Dayna

    From May 2018 on, I lost 73 pounds in that time. As I hit each 25 lb milestone, I rewarded myself with an op at a Supernatural convention. For 2019, I want to continue my weight loss, and hopefully hit 100 lost by the first week of April. 117 lost will put me at my first decided goal. I will also do a physical and find out what my ideal target weight should be.
    I am going to SPN DC in November, and hoping I can celebrate hitting my goal with some lovely ops with the cast. I wish you the best of luck in 2019, and best of luck for Boston!!

  • Emily

    My goal for this year is to start living intentionally. I need to intentionally be in the moment, cherish conversations that are being had, find the positive in being a mother and raising a 1.5 year old, finding the positive in any situation actually and intentionally put good out in the world. Last year was filled with so much negativity, so many toxic people and toxic behavior both by myself and those that I thought I needed in my life. I have decided to OWN who I am, the way I raise my child, the joy that I find every day. I want ME to lead my life rather than let life lead me. I feel powerful this year! Having this revelation has already changed me. I am exercising every day, eating better, being a more present mother, a better wife. I am making travel plans to a few states I’ve never been before. I want to start creating memories worth remembering!

  • Malibu

    I’ve always had trouble with my sarcasm, I use it way too much as a defense. So this year I am going to try to be nicer and tell people exactly what’s on my mind rather than being passive aggressive about it with sarcasm. I figure if I start slow I might be able to accomplish my goal for the year.

  • Tonya Backes

    Great post Gen! My goal this year is to get in the frame more with my kids. You seem to be an absolute pro at having images with yourself with your family (that isn’t a “selfie”). Any pointers?

  • Niki

    It’s refreshing to hear you speak out about your perceived failures. Most mothers feel all of the same things you do but sharing it with us, helps the rest of us know we aren’t alone. My own goals for the year are the same as yours, especially eating more veggies. Best of luck in your training for the Boston Marathon!

  • Nan

    Thank you for being so transparent. I’m trying to teach my 8 year old that someone may be “famous”, but first, they are real people! They have fears, anxieties, hopes and dreams just as we do. I grew up in a home with a depressed mother, and I currently deal with that myself. I have decided in 2019 to be easier on myself. To make strides to be a better mother, wife and friend….but to accept myself, the way God made me. Praying you all have a very happy 2019.

  • Regina

    Instead of New Year’s resolutions, I do New Year’s wishes. I write down all my wishes for the New Year. Some are things I know will happen and others are just things I’d like to accomplish, however crazy. Some I keep vague, some I make very specific. Some are just for me and some are for those I love. I write them down, I put it away and I look at it at the end of the year. I’m always amazed by how much I’ve actually accomplished on the list and how much I’ve grown because my wishes for the next year are usually similar but different enough to really demonstrate what I find important. I never feel guilty because they were just wishes and I always see what is important to me. Maybe I’m a coward for avoiding resolutions, but I’ve fallen in love with this practice.

  • Carolyn

    I learned you need to be prepared for anything and everything. Highs and lows. 2018 was a year to reflect on my life and where I am going. I hope 2019 gets me to where I need to be.

  • Kimberly

    Happy New Year! I’m about 15 yrs ahead of where you are and your points are so valid and relatable. With a 16 and 18 year old, the clock with them in the nest is ticking for me. My 2019 goals are to make every moment valid and a priority. Even if it is an insignificant event or a teaching moment- be present, focused, full of love and understanding. Enjoy the crazy with little ones because it is a season. Blessings!

  • Pam

    Loved the post. As much as I am reluctant to plan, make lists and schedules, I need to. Helps me keep organized and it’s a great feeling to check things off my lists! Thank you for being you and being realistic. I think we’re always learning what works and what doesn’t. And that’s ok!

  • Amanda Caise

    I am also so bad as saying no. I work from home so I can be there for my kids who are now young teen girls and yes it flies by. I would take them in diapers and bottles again. I feel like I am mean when someone asks me to cover a shift and don’t. I am home and if I wasn’t working I would just be hanging out with my husband and girls but I feel like that’s bad. Like I am being lazy. I need to spend time with them. I am trying hard to say no but it’s not working this week since I already picked up 3 extra shifts. ?.
    I am also trying to get back in better shape. I am going for yoga since I have a artificial disc so can’t do really impactful workouts. Reading that I am not the only one who does some of these things makes me feel better. I don’t do resolutions but I do have things I want to work on for 2019. Keep up what you’re doing. It makes a difference to your followers ?????

  • Lara

    This was a great read, Gen.

    “Be less afraid” and “hone in on the power of my own voice” are two fantastic intentions for the new year. I would like to do the same for myself.

    Wishing you and your beauitful family a happy and healthy 2019!

  • Kathy Custren

    Thank you for sharing your looks back and ahead. I am grateful to learn every day–and reading Now and Gen helps! Looking back at last year overall did leave me with a feeling that I need to do (more, not less!) this year. So, (more, not less!) mental health outreach to local areas that need it. Like anything, it helps to ask what people need most and prioritize form there. I also sense another move in our near future, so reducing the ‘stuff’ (less, not more!) must take place. Personally, I would love to take lessons to play either ukelele or guitar, enough to compose a song. (It’s been years!) Doing (more, not less!) yoga is also in my future. As for Now and Gen, I am personally thankful for all you do share as a busy mom–whether it is photos or tidbits of your beautiful family. Any helpful tips you may have would be wonderful coming from such a caring soul. Namaste ~ Blessings!

  • Tricia

    I think it is extroidinary what you do, and being as busy as you are. It is refreshing for someone to be down to earth and let everyone know you have the same busy life as most, and normal. I look forward to reading your blogs, and on Instagram. Keep striving forward!

  • Eryn LaPlant

    Gen, I felt the comment about a busy life and “dating” your husband on feeply personal level. My husband is a national volleyball coach and full-time surgical RN and we barely see each other too. When we do get time together, he’s usually tired and/or we talk about everything we’ve saved up to tell each other throughout the week. It’s not romantic, it’s not productive to our marriage. I like that time we have because that’s all the time we have, but I don’t like it either. I have my own career and raise the house – a 12 yr old extremely active son, and a handful animals. Like you and Jared, we need to be better about getting that moment to sit, talk, and be grounded together. As a couple, and within our marriage we need that time to bond. Date nights or even simple alone time in each other’s arms is like a recharge. When we don’t get that, we burn out and I’m determined never to get to that point. So I appreciate what you said about putting forth that effort and making the time not to feel like you’re dating again. I’m with you on that boat and pray that you guys get the time as much as we do over here. Thank you for writing your post and reminding me that these daily things are important.

  • Sonia Maria Marcondes

    Para 2019 eu quero fazer inglês pois não seu nada,e isso me deixa muito frustada,pois quero entender o que vocês falam nos videos e fico perdida,estou programando uma viagem internacional,gostaria muito de conhecer o EUA,estou fazendo um regime,comendo mais vegetais(kkkkkk).eu adoro o seu blog,e quero que você e sia família fiquem bem,tenham mais amor,companheirismo.Muita luz sempre

  • Katie Rose

    How on EARTH did we end up with the exact same resolutions/goals list?! ? I’m serious- mine is exactly the same, with the addition of “listen more.” 2018 taught me some very hard lessons, the biggest one being not to take your loved ones for granted. Life is too short, and you might not have tomorrow to spend time with your parent, beloved pet or best friend before they’re gone. That being said, I’m aiming to beam a Care Bear Stare of love at the world, including myself, in 2019 and onward! Thank you for being you, Gen! I love your blog and love your light! ?

  • Jean

    I’m so glad you decided to create this blog. Don’t worry about it being a bit erractic… life is that way. One of the things I love about the Supernatural family is that we realize life happens. Good intentions get revised, and sometimes put to one side for a while. Thank you for sharing your life and your family with us.

    What I learned from 2018: baby step count. I’m not goigbb to beat up on myself for unfulfilled dreams or unreached goals. I’m going to learn from the experience and revise the way I approach them, or the goals and dreams themselves.

    My goals for 2019
    – Move more: I’ve started by walking to the end of the block and back each evening.
    – GISH more: I want to do at least one public item this year. I also want to stay in better touch with my team, before, during, and after the Hunt.
    – Create more: Get back into writing fan-fiction and color in my ‘grownup’ coloring books.

  • Kristen

    This is a great exercise, plus your goals are inspiring. Here are mine not in any particular order:
    1. Eat healthier
    2. Accept my own timeline for achieving goals
    3. Spend more time outdoors
    4. Be confident, ignore and stop the thoughts in my head saying I can’t do it
    5. Take more time for friends

  • Renata

    Thank you for this post gen!!! This is incredible!!!! This is how I feel most of the times too so thank you for addressing it!! You inspire me so much to be a stronger and more confident woman!!!

  • Cherish

    I love this so much. I’m just now coming across your blog and I love how will you keep it. I think we often think that because people may have more money than us that they don’t go through the same everyday things we go through. And you just set the record straight that every woman goes through this. And 2019 I plan to say no more as well. 2018 I was a Yes Man. And ended up making me feel overworked, unappreciated, and I didn’t pay enough attention to myself. I find myself saying no a lot. Or telling people no I can’t make that event or I can’t do that for you. It’s a very uneasy feeling because people don’t like to hear know and they may change the way they treat you or the relationship between you guys may change. But if it does it was never a real relationship anyhow. I’m even thinking about starting up a little blog myself so this was very inspirational. Thank you for keeping it real and inspiring. And I love how you touched upon not giving yourself enough credit or taking the compliment as someone would say about finishing the race fast. I wonder why we do that? Isn’t it weird that we will accept an insult quicker than we would accept a compliment? I’m glad you brought that up.

  • Angela

    My goals this year are to relax more, get more sleep and generally feel less neurotic!
    I have three grown up children and they are clever independent individuals who are very capable but I still spend a lot of time fretting over them even though I work full time and have a pretty busy social life. It’s time I realised that they can make it themselves and they wouldn’t want me stressing about them!
    I also want to spend more quality time with my other half, when your kids have flown the nest it’s almost like going back in time and remembering that you had time for yourselves again.
    I love reading your blog Gen. You are so honest and inspiring.
    I wish you and Jared the best of luck running the Boston Marathon. I think it’s great that you both support great charities and I have donated to your page.
    Much love and luck in 2019
    Angela Cavendish from Broughton in the UK

  • Annette Wilder

    I loved this post! Some of my resolutions are to be less selfish, run, be more forgiving, dress more like a normal human being, and to be more real and true to myself no matter who I’m around.

  • Mani

    Not to answer your question but to suggest something:
    I spent one month till few days ago with a family of 3 kids and I saw how much work it is, but one thing always bugged me, kids weren’t always clean even though that they have nanny and a mother that always give them notice and make them to take a bath.
    And i was wondering why in America people didn’t try a have shower/water hose near the toilet! (Like many countries in the world)
    It feels very clean and if kid forget to take a bath one day it won’t smell and I have to say it will save so much time and cut lots of mother-kids discussions 🙂

  • Priyanka

    This was such a beautiful blog post, and there are so many points I entirely relate to.
    I always have and still do feel terrible about saying no to people. From overcomitting and trying to manage too many things at once to even agreeing to going on really terrible dates, this habit of not saying no has been landing me into hell lot of trouble. I have been intending to change this habit for last coupleof years, and for now it’s a work in progress.
    2018 was a blur. Between office and various social obligations I didn’t even realise where all the time went. My life has become too much of a routine, which I aim to break in 2019. I intend to take time off for just for myself, go for a solo trip perhaps or something. And truly experience and enjoy the passage of time. I also intend to cut down on all the time I waste literally doing nothing and cribbing about stuff in general, and go back to the hobbies I miss so much, especially dancing.
    In 2019 I intend to hold less grudges as well and try to be as positive as I can.
    I also really look forward to your blog posts this year. I have enjoyed reading them a lot, especially about all the activities you engage in, all the gardening habits, and of course the fashion and skincare tips. I actually found your posts and videos about intimacy quite interesting as well, and I hope you can share something about how to improve personal relationships or even friendships. I often feel guilty about not giving enough time to my relationship, or to my friends, or even both. With a full time job it has become hard to balance out family, friends and love. Or perhaps it’s just me and I suck at time management. I would really love it if you could give some tips on how to give time to each important relationship of life.
    I would also like if you could give some easy healthy recipes or eating tips. I am not much of a cook, although I do try and eat as heathy as possible. So yeah if you have some fast and heathy recipes in hand please share.
    This is all for now.
    Hope to see more from you.
    Lots of love.

  • Desirae

    Thank you for always being so open, honest, and real. I find that to be the most challenging thing in my life is admitting all of the “wrongs”, even if they aren’t wrong. You inspire me to be open and embrace those flaws as part of me and I look forward to those challenging, yet rewarding lessons. Keep doing what you’re doing!

  • Elena

    2018 was my year to learn to say no bc I overextended myself all the time. I would run myself ragged and was killing myself slowly. By saying no I was able to reflect on what I wanted to spend my time on that was meaningful to me and the individuals I was helping. This was true especially for my kids and family. I needed to be healthy and here if I was going to make any kind of impact on this world with my family. I plan to use 2019 to really look at what’s important to me, the world I live in, and my family. I feel doing a few great things is far better than doing a million little things just okay. I feel this will help me really evaluate life and what my part I have in it. Thank you for sharing your intentions with us Gen. I feel if we could lift each other up and support our fellow moms we could do such great things!!! We would be a force to be reckoned with.

  • Jess

    I’ve really enjoyed reading all of your posts, and can’t wait to see what you have for 2019!! My goals for 2019 are to be less of a people pleaser, spend more me/family time, and work at being the best mom I can be!

  • Jamie

    2018 started off incredibly rough for me. I had been in a bad place mentally for a long long time and I was completely miserable and exhausted from trying so hard for so long. As the year progressed I began to sort things out for myself. I let go of stuff that I had been holding on to for too long. I kind of found my groove. Eventually, I started to feel like myself again and now things are really looking up for me. I have hope again and I feel like my future is full of potential. 2018 taught me that I am stronger than I ever believed and that I am worth fighting for. In 2019, I want to use what I have been through to help others. I want to spend time with the people I love and show them how much I appreciate them. And I want to do things for me. I want to live it up. I want to take chances and challenge myself and just enjoy life!
    I am looking forward to seeing what Now and Gen has in store this year. You are so genuine, authentic, and easy to relate to. It’s so wonderful that you are willing to share your journey with the world. Wishing you all the best!!!

  • Barnetta Johnson

    Oh Gen, I loved reading your blog! I really connected with your experiences raising your family, and enjoyed how honest you are! I especially loved your reflections on your very personal feelings. I was reminded about my kids and my ups and downs as they grew up.
    I had struggles and joys too. Bless you and your family!
    Dont forget to drink a lot of water, and huggles to all the littles,and Jared too!

  • Deepa Phadke

    Hi Gen, you are very candid here and really like it. As for me I am a introvert can’t express myself. And what I achieved in 2018 is standing up for myself. I got my passport done, got my Canadian visa done and also visited by son there in April. This was a biggest move. My first foreign vacation. This year in 2019 I have decided to continue being able to stand up for myself. Learn French language. And be physically fit.

  • Nicole

    Thank you for this inspiring blog Ive told myself 2019 was my year,my daugther graducated in 2018 and moved out to her own apt,and its weird not having a person to look after all the time I was a wife and mom and then became a single mom and now Im still a mom but with no little birdy at home so I told myself this is my year,my year to learn who I am as a person I want to explore and see things ive never seen before. So this is my self starter to 2019 I will become more active and volunteer more and be a better version of my old self…Thank you for you inspiring words

  • Melissa

    2018 was the year I decided to finally do the things that scared me or thought I couldn’t or shouldn’t do (cost too much, can’t miss work, just plain crazy, I’d never succeed, all reasons and even more not listed, to not do things). But FINALLY I decided what the hell, gonna live my life and I have to say it’s been the best year in such a long time. Too long. I finally opened my Etsy store, actually dedicated time to my own blog, travelled to places just for the hell of it. I’ve made new wonderful friends, did new things I’ve never thought of doing and lots of things I’ve been to terrified to for years, and the fear didn’t kill me. So my hope is to carry that into 2019, and then do even more. I’ve only got this one life, don’t want to waste it. Maybe I’ll even jump out of a plane for Gish this year instead of just talk about it.

  • Betsi

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. At the end of 2018 I was determined to do better in the exercise area for two reasons – my health and a desired trip to Scotland. I’m ashamed to admit that 13 days into 2019 I have made no changes other than trying to eat better. Maybe I need to make reservations for the trip so that I have a date to work towards. Have an awesome 2019!

  • Gail Carnevale

    This is the first time I saw your post about your blog. Not many celebrities are so open about their lives. I love it I am a big fan of the show. As for what you learned you sound like you are definitely getting it. You learning to have balance that’s usually a tough thing for most to learn. I include myself in that. The most important thing to remember is that your family comes first. Also don’t worry about what other people think about you. It’s what you think that is most important. Like you I am trying to learn to do things for myself. I have made a bucket list of things I need to do for myself physically lose weight exercise more get teeth fixed. Mama needs to look after Mama.

  • Sarah

    Great blog post!

    I think it’s do important to reflect and learn to be more loving of ourselves rather then critical (I struggle with this). I especially loved the resolution that said to forgive yourself if you accomplish none of them lol, I’m borrowing this for my list 😉

    I am looking at doing a half marathon and maybe a marathon if I succeed at that and would love some posts showing how you prepare to compete in these, food, fitness training etc.

    More book reccomendations/ reviews would also be great 🙂

    Oh, a cool thing to see would be you trying different classes and trying new things and sharing your experiences. I try to do at least one a year. You know like ballet class, painting, ceramics, martial arts etc. but that might be better as a video lol.

    Have a great year!

  • Catrin

    I really like your way of thinking…)) when I read your words I see something of me and my life. I am some steps before you cause my 3 kids are a little bit older (9,12,14) and a very exciting new phase started in my life. With a husband also traveling often for work. I learned in 2018, that we have to be thankful for every little thing you can enjoy in life, with family and friends being healthy. Time goes by too fast and we have to learn to stop sometimes, just to breathe – feel all the goodness life gives you….as a present. Try to have as many moments of laughter as we can collect. Always choose to shine…)
    I wish you and your family a shiny 2019 with much love! Greetings from Germany …

  • Sue M. Swank

    I enjoyed reading your post and related to much of it. 2017 we lost everything to hurricane Irma and found ourselves homeless for many months. We stayed with a friend of ours and she was homeless as well due to Irma, but we stuck it out as best as we could. That lead us into 2018, I had to have open heart surgery to replace one of my valves and was scared to death thinking I was going to die. My husband is in Army and a DoD federal police officer which meant he was working a lot and often away. I struggled with being alone, it hurt but I used it as a shield to push others away as well. Since I also lost my business in the hurricane, I felt lost in the worse way. Slowly we found out footing again with new base housing (actually in 2019), I survived surgery and began to write again. I am grateful for my daughters and grandchildren and actually I am writing this from my middle daughters house as she is expecting my first grandson any day now and has one of the most precious baby girls I have ever seen. As for my husband and I we are trying and struggling to find “us time”. We have been together for over 25+ years now and it doesn’t get any easier by far. We sometimes misread text messages and the calls are sometimes line in between when he is out on a mission, and I am bad as well for not calling when I am out traveling as well. But we work hard on it daily to keep communication open and though it is impossible for us to schedule date night we do try our best to do it. Overall I am glad I am alive and love my life – shitty diapers with my grand babies and all. We hope to move closer to our kids in the next few years, we love living in Key West Florida but our kids are in Virginia and North Carolina. So it is time for us to move closer and enjoy our family as much as we can. It’s was sad when I gave up my professional photography but I still shoot for fun and write more. 2018 will also find one of my scripts turned into a movie I hope at least lol. Stay true to yourself and find your own power. You have it. In case nobody had told you yet – I am proud of you.

  • Lindsey

    2018 was a year of letting go, and that is hard for me. I’m a Taurus baby, so consistency is one of my love languages (I know that’s technically not a Love Language but you get the picture). I turned 30, and I was so excited to move into a new decade and shed off the rollercoaster of my 20’s.

    Although I had to find my footing again in a world in which I was suddenly and blessedly single (learning how to be alone and not equating that with loneliness), 2018 wasn’t all bad. I celebrated 5 years clean & sober, I found my faith again, got a raise at work (in which I basically play with dogs for a living so best. job. ever.), reconnected with my family & friends whom I was cut off from by the narcissist I was in a relationship with, settled into finanacial security, and paid off my financial debt completely.

    2018 was also a year of forgiveness. I had to forgive myself because as women, we tend to internally take the blame when relationships (or anything else) don’t work (it was doomed to fail, always, and that was NOT MY FAULT), I had to forgive myself for not recognizing the signs of abuse (even when those around me did). I had to forgive myself (and ask forgiveness) for taking my crap out on other people. I had (and have) to realize that even though some men can be evil, not all men are (but NOT in that #NotAllMen way, lol), and they deserve the chance to show their characters before I lay down a judgement. (That goes for women, too, of course, but my main problem is with men.) And although I forgave them, too, I let go of all the people in my life who weren’t For Me, and that shaved down, oh… 75% of them? But that’s okay. Quality over quantity, any day.

    I have a really good feeling about 2019. 2018 was a year of major growing pains, but I’m glad I went through them. Any sort of hardship or heartache leaves us stronger than before, but I have to be careful not to shut my heart off completely. 2019 is going to be a year of healing. I’m starting therapy in March, and although it’s gonna SUCK, it’s also going to be great. I have a feeling I’m going to start walking in God’s plan (*Drake starts playing in the background*) for my life, and I can’t wait to get started.

    So, my hopes for 2019:
    • Spiritual/mental/emotional growth, in whatever way that manifests in my life
    • Continuing at a job I love while I search for my ultimate Purpose
    • Accepting once and for all that I’m an introvert, and owning that, instead of making myself miserable by saying Yes to everything (I’m a huge people pleaser, too).
    • At the same time, making a vested effort to find My Tribe, because even with my introverted self, life was not meant to be spent alone.
    • Less time staring at a screen, more time reading books (my TBR pile is teetering due to its height). I could never get into the Kindle; something about a book will always be far superior.
    • Learning the word NO. It’s one of the first words all children speak, so why is it so hard for me to say it as an adult?
    • Lastly, no dating for me this year. I’m going to be 31 in May, and I’m so tired of casual, so goodbye Tinder, hello concentrating solely on making myself into the best woman I can be without any distractions.

    I admire you a lot, Gen. it takes a strong woman to be vulnerable, especially with an audience who isn’t always the kindest/most forgiving. I don’t really want children (although kids are great— I’m just happy to be able to give them back, lol!), so the fact that you’re building your empire while being a mom and a wife is something I can’t even imagine, and from the looks of it, you’ve got this. I hope 2019 blesses your family in ways you can’t imagine.
    Xo, Lindsey (lindslovesdogs on insta)
    Ps: Sorry for the essay, but I keep a private journal, so it really helps me to write it all out, to be able to see my thoughts clearly. Congrats on your success with this blog. This is the first post of yours I’ve read, but I truly enjoy your authorial voice, so I’ll be reading the rest soon. Xoxox

  • Jillian

    Hi Gen,
    My 2018 definitely was not my year; however, I know that I must move on and leave the past behind in order to grow not only physically but also intellectually. In 2019 I have more of a to do list than setting goals. On my list (short), I am competing in a triathlon with my father and his girlfriend in March and in July, and I am moving to Austin, TX in order to study law at UT Austin. Although I don’t have really any resolutions, these are the big steps that I am conquering in 2019, and I am grateful for 2019 to bring me a beautiful journey!

  • Lisa Reames

    I always say my New Year’s resolution is not to make new year’s resolutions. I’ve learned, from this past year, to go with the flow. That doesn’t mean I have to accept or agree to everything, but realize that it’s not always going to go my way. I just have to go with my convictions and leave the other things behind. It’s not always going to go the way I think it should and that’s okay.

  • Shannon

    Thanks for sharing you. I don’t ever comment on anything but I love anything “genuine” and this inspired me to comment and say good for you and congrats on the success of family and career. Maybe that is what is meant by your name “NowandGen”. It is a rare commodity in today’s world to find genuine. Life is hard. I am 45 years old and have 25 year old daugther and a 5 year old son. My oldest is expecting twins (my first grandbabies!!!) in July and her and her family will move in with us so we can help them and give them whatever help we can to start off on the right foot. I have no fantisies about how difficult it will be. I work full time and we run a business (hubby is chiropractor). Having kids is difficult! I had mine 20 years apart. I thought I would be so much more prepared for my 2nd being older and wiser (or so I naively thought). He came early, spent 6 weeks in the NICU and I went through severe post-pardum and PTSD. I have been blessed to have crazy awesome husband and partner in life who supported me and got tme through it. Only for a couple of years later to be derailled again with health issues and 4 months of surgeries and down-time. I learned so much through all of it. Lower expecatations and to be gentle with myself. My resolutions for this year are to be kind to myself and others and to know my limits. Love my family and be the best I can be for all of them, whatever it looks like because it changes day to day. Hell, it changes minute to minute. Cheers and good luck with the family and blog.

  • michaela ?

    Gen, happy new year! ❄✨ I can relate so much to a majority of what you have said and you empower me because if you on the platform you have can have these feelings it allows me to try and forgive myself a little.

    I am single and have been for 16 years due to a broken heart and then throwing myself into my teaching – I teach drama ? my time of posdibly having a chilf is running out and it petrifys me to the point of not knowing where to start.
    My intentions are:

    Be kind to myself
    Learn yoga fully and daily meditation ?
    Find a partner I can do life with ?
    Travel were it snows ⛄❄

    I hope I can achieve some of these if not all. I am reading’The Secret’, dont know if you have heard of it but I am hoping it can reset my brain towards positivity and gratitude.

    As always gen, thank you for yoyr blog and sharing your crazy life with us crazy people who appreciate you so much. Lots of love, ?

  • Karyn

    I love reading your blogs Gen here in the UK, I don’t know you personally but you seem so genuinely kind , thoughtful and honest and those are sometimes rare traits now .
    2018 taught me to really appreciate good health and family , I was poorly for a few months during the summer and had complete bedrest for 3 weeks , I couldn’t have got through it without my wonderful husband , 2 children age 16 and nearly 11 , my mum and dad , you really do take having good health for granted , so in 2019 I am going to cherish being healthy , I’ve lost 3 stone and have 2 more to go but I WILL achieve this in 2019 , I would like to learn Yoga , need to find a suitable class for beginners or something online until I build my confidence , I’m also going to make time for date nights , our eldest is 16 and we’ve never gone out without the children , really must rectify that . I love your blogs just the way they are , honest , funny and a joy to read , from my family to yours may 2019 bring you good health and happiness ❤️ Xx

  • MaryAnn

    I’m a little like you in a way that I find it unrealistic to set New Years Goals and expectations only for the sake of the New Year. I’ve learned a lot this past year, I’ve learned a lot about myself as a mother, as a wife and as an individual. I’m that Mom that feels ashamed to ask for help because I should be able to do this on my own, not only that but my pride that no one can ever do it as well as I can and therefore I don’t want the help. It’s been almost two years since our family pick up and moved in short notice to Texas due to a Military transfer. Details I won’t get into but long story short I drove our six children, my sister and her four kids to Texas from California to a new Town and home I’ve never seen before without my husband, as he was preparing for his move to his new duty station in another State for the next 3 years! I’d have to say that 1st year I was a mess and questioned my sanity but 2018 has made me all the stronger for it. My eldest son is now a Junior in high school and my baby girl turn 5 and started school, this is the 1st year all six of my kids are in school which meant I would have ME TIME! I was so wrong, because like you, I am a people pleaser and find it hard to say NO! 2018 has taught me it’s okay to not have it all together, that it’s okay if you have to be medicated for your anxiety and depresses and that speaking to a therapist isn’t just for really crazy people 😉 I’m on a new journey to find out who I really am and to set healthy boundaries, to be able to look at myself in the mirror and see someone who is amazing and beautiful instead of a failure who could never be pretty or smart enough, or accomplish anything! This year I will further my little hair bow making bussiness, and my goal is to make at least one good friend and try not to allow my social anxiety to keep me from happienss! I’m excited and looking forward to this year, great things are going to happen! Thank you for sharing your life with us, it’s nice to see that others have our same struggles even though on the outside it looks like you have it all together! You are beautiful and talented and a very driven person who on many levels I admire, I think you have a wonderful and sweet heart. I try not to compare our lifes because then I just beat myself up over it, thinking well if she can work out with the kids so can I, how does she look so good all the time, what am I doing wrong and these are all the wrong thoughts because we should be lifting eachother up and not being envious of one another but yet celebrate eachothers strengths and weaknesses in saying this what I’d love to see in your blog is your everyday life struggle behind the fashion and the cameras the down and dirty daily struggles that we can all relate too. Those are always my favorite to read maybe because it gives us some kind of conecction between our two worlds. All in All I love your Blogs and Keep doing what you’re doing, thank you and may your 2019 be blessed and a wonderful adventure.

  • Nancy

    My goal this year is to eat healthier and exercise. I will be going to Vancover in August and would like to be able to walk around without getting out of breath. You are so inspiring. I figure if you can find time to exercise with your busy schedule, then so can I. Eventually, I would love to run in a marathon. I will be 60 next week and am hoping to run in my 1st marathon before I am 61.

  • Nichele Borman

    This years biggest lesson taught me that you can’t please everyone. This year, I was too busy scheduling around everyone and their feelings that I forgot about me. Now, being mindful of ones feelings isn’t terrible, but not being able to say no, and and being okay with being selfish for yourself, isn’t. It’s taken a lot to admit that but, hey? Life is a journey. I just personally want to say thank you for ALWAYS speaking your truth on your blog. We get so wrapped up in what others think, especially in social media, that we loose ourselves. That’s why I’m absolutely in LOVE with the blog.
    I personally loved when you talked about the “taboo” topics. Being comfortable in uncomfortable topics is awesome! One thing I’d like to see discussed on Now and Gen is menstrual stuff( weird I know) but it’s HARD. I’ve had trouble with mine, and knowing that maybe it’s okay to reach out for help or know that there are others in the same situation would be pretty cool.
    Thank you for such a fun year and please please please, never stop being you!
    You are one badass women

  • brenda shaw

    My goal is to find better help with my long standing depression . I talk to a nice man once a month but we usually talk about my cats , its not helping . I have been trying for11 years . Now Im going to demand , yell scream do whatever I have to . I need help , real help . I need someone to hear me . I think mabey its time to try a antidepressent . I very rearly leave my bedroom let alone my house . My anixiety is through the roof even though I am on medication for anixiety. I feel such guilt over all the wasted years lost to my bedroom . I have asked repeatedly for help from my family doctor and he seems to think talking to someone in mental health once enough should ckver it . This man can not send me for any testing or order meds he can just talk . I feel I am falling deeper into a hole that I will never find my way out of . So that is my goal for 2019 make someone really hear me .

  • Wanda

    I think what I’ve learned is it’s ok to ask for help when you need it. I have always been the person out there doing whatever I could to help people but would never ask anyone for help and now since I’m 67 I have realized that I can’t do everything like I use to. But I now know it’s ok to humble myself and ask when you need it. To understand there really are nice people out there and they want to help just the way I did. Your amazing Jen and you so is Jared and you seem to be a very happy family! Love you all and God bless!!

  • Cat Sutcliffe

    I am so glad i survived 2018 after my soul mate took his own life I’ve struggled to keep it together . If i didnt have our beautiful babies to take care off i could have lost myself in my grief. Instead i wake up every morning an iam grateful for the time we had the memories we made and the life we built together. This year i have made my resolution to say no to the things i can’t afford to do and not feel guilty , make it to every performance go to the assembly’s play in the mud kick leaves jump in puddles make an enjoy memories as these are the most precious gifts any one can be given . This will be our year together we will make it through x

  • Maria Kroboth

    Firstly, love your blog! Thanks for being an inspiration!
    Here goes my list! My 2019 intentions are:
    – Maintain my running routine, I have been running for 38 years, I’m 53! I ran the BMW relay in December 6.8 miles, I’m running a 5K at the end February & I’m running the Irving half marathon in April. Yay!
    -I try to remember every day what my awesome Dr told me that life is a walk not a sprint, stop & smell the roses!
    -I can’t make everyone like me, but I like myself and if I can teach my son that we are okay just that we are and that we should treat everyone with respect then I think I have done my job as a mom!
    -Even though I’m a single mom & very independent, I have to remind myself it’s okay to ask for help every now and then
    -Socialize more, I’m bad at this, I always say I’m going to go somewhere, but I never do. I had a special someone who passed away & it has never seemed the right time to get back out there so I will try 2019.

  • Ann

    My goal this year is to buy more make up, may sound silly but I used to LOVE make up and I had quite a collection until 2007 California’s wild fire when we lost our home. My thrid child was only 2 weeks old at the time, I just became a busy stay at home Mom and never really wore make up much and never really bought much make up. I now have 6 kids and my youngest is 5 years old and is in Kinder so this year I want to allow my self to buy more things for myself.

  • Racheal E Carter

    My goals are to SIMPLIFY, be a more thoughtful consumer, slow it down and just enjoy my last year with one of my children at home. I need to plan for being an empty nester, because I am really struggling with the idea. I LOVE being a Mom and am so sad right now thinking about it! I would like to learn more about Autism, so that I can better advocate for people that I support at work and I just want to focus on advocating in general. It’s what makes me tick. I absolutely adore you for always being so real and imperfect. You truly are a beautiful soul. If anyone doesn’t like you, I’m quite sure it’s their loss, not yours! From one Italian girl to another, you are beautiful inside and out!

  • Tami

    Gen, thanks for keeping it real! We (general population) tend to view your life as the epitome if happily ever after… you married a stud TV star, living the rich n famous lifestyle.. but stopping to smell the dirty diapers,etc puts us on a more even playing field and helps star stuck fans realize that life is pretty much the same for everyone, san Jared, of course!! Lol. Love your blog! Congrats on the half marathon.. unless there is one for SUPERNATURAL binging, I would never b able to compete!! #keepitreal

  • Amy

    Thank you for posting this. Many parallels in our lives. It’s REALLY FUN raising 3 kids+ (we still have 4 out of 7 home) and it’s REALLY HARD. We have our parents take the kids for one to 2 weekends a month. Sometimes we just watch TV in bed because we’re exhausted or we take day trips. It’s really helped our marriage. Before we were drowning without help.

  • Elizabeth

    This blog showed up in my newsfeed on facebook. I have to say you did an amazing job expressing yourself. I feel like I can relate to some of the things you have talked about, except for the having kids part. I’ve always wanted to have kids, I just felt like I needed to have my life together first. 2018 was a really rough year for me. It taught me that life is too short to wait for things to happen. Last July, I ended up collapsing at home from a spinal tumor that fractured my spine. I temporarily lost movement in my legs for almost 2 weeks in the hospital. The tumor just missed the spinal cord. The doctors had to get me walking to become an outpatient due to my insurance refusing to pay for the cancer scan as inpatient. I had to do 16 radiation treatments on my spine. The pain meds were the only reason I was walking. At age 29, i was diagnosed with stage 4 mestatic breast bone cancer. Monthly, I have to get my ovaries shut down because the cancer is hormonal fed. The cancer was in my spine, two lymph nodes, and in my right breast. I tried getting help at the beginning of the year, but the doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me. My obgyn ignored my breast pain saying it was normal before your cycle. She didn’t send me to get tests probably because of my age. I didn’t know at the time to press the issue of getting a mammogram or ultrasound. She gave me birth control telling me it would help. Thank God I didn’t take it because the cancer is hormonal fed. I went the hospital in May experiencing severe back pain, where I couldn’t bend over. Doctor’s missed the tumor and sent me home with pain meds. Now i’m currently taking chemo pills. I had to have back surgery because the tumor deteriorated my disc causing my back to start collapsing forward. Luckily through all of this I have a wonderful man who’s been by my side. Friends and family have been there for me as well. I was young and healthy and this sort of happened out of nowhere. Insurance company has been horrible, and rejected my chemo pills and some scans at first. They are refusing to pay past bills. My life has completely changed. On a positive note, I did another cancer scan in December. 2019 is starting to look up for me. The results show that the chemo pills are working, the lymph nodes show no cancer activity, the back looks good, and the breast tumor shrank. I haven’t gotten back to work yet. I’m still trying to regain my strength. I guess my number one wish for 2019 is to be cancer free, and hopefully have positive news that I might be able to have kids in the future. The doctors tell me that most people that get this type of cancer are in their 60s or 70s. That me being so young will help me fight through it. So I also have to eat healthier for 2019 and get back to work. Sorry for venting so much. Take care, and I look forward to reading more of your blog.

  • Stephanie

    Thank you so much for sharing so many things with us. I have been following your website for the past six or so months and you have some really great things to share. I appreciate your approach to looking at the past as lessons learned, which is difficult to do. You learn from lessons, making them a positive experience, instead of looking at them as regrets. For me, I’ve gotten care and professional help after hitting rock bottom with my mental health almost three months ago, so I’ve started asking for help, not taking on too much, not beating myself up if I can’t do everything, and carving out a little bit of time every day for me. This has allowed me to build exercise and distance running back into my routine…something that I stopped doing after a few injuries that sidelined my running aspirations. Now, after physical therapy and appropriate braces for support, I have gotten back into running after watching you and the crew on the Bad Idea Tour run the half and full marathons late last year. What an inspiration that was for so many people! This year, my goal is to run the half marathon again for the first time in almost 3 years and then, running a full marathon in December. Right now, training for the half and the full marathon training will start in late summer. I look forward to watching your training journey for the Boston Marathon this year and will likely pick up some great advice, especially with you also being a mom with young children and finding the time to have for yourself, your relationship with Jared, and still be amazing for your kids. It’s a lot of work and pressure, but you are doing it with grace and strength. Thank you for sharing all of this with us and I look forward to seeing what else comes out of this amazing blog you’ve started up. Cheers and happy running!

  • Stephanie

    Oh man, I can relate to SO much of this. I have two kids- 16 and 4.5 (why yes, that IS quite a gap! :D) and it’s like I’m being pulled in about 90 different directions every minute. I’m doing my best to stop and smell what I would love to be roses but is probably a sippy cup of milk left behind the couch for a week, on top of stinky teenage boy socks, because it does go by fast, but you’re right, it’s hard when so much of it is left up to us. My husband is at work in the city for 12 hours a day, so I’m the one that makes everything on the homefront happen for everyone, and it’s exhausting. You’ve absolutely got it right to take advantage of every chance for a break that you can get, because the potential for burnout is so high otherwise (would you like to hear about the 18 months where I got no more than 3 hours of sleep at a stretch and no more than five hours total a day til the point where I was hallucinating due to sleep deprivation? Yeah, I wouldn’t either…)

    Making time for date night- or something that counts as date night- is SO important. My husband and I were finding ourselves in the same place as you and yours did, and it was rough. We don’t have access to a regular babysitter, but we’ve made it a point to spend time together every night after our daughter goes to bed and it’s helped so much.

    I love your resolutions. I’m in on all of them except the being late- I’m perpetually 30 minutes early for everything (thanks, anxiety!). Not a necessarily a terrible thing; arriving early is a great way to fit in more reading time. 😉 Thank you for the wonderful post; it absolutely radiates authenticity and makes me feel like I’m not so alone in all of this. 🙂

  • LC

    Hi Gen! I would love to hear more about your marathon training regiment. I also want to do a marathon soon and I’m studying exercise physiology. I’m simply curious what methods work best for you personally to prepare yourself for such an accomplishment physically and also mentally.

  • Kathy Lippke

    I have read through alot of the comments on here and I pray that all of ya’ll proud of yourself for speaking out on what you would like to accomplish this year! I pray that ya’ll will do the very best you can do accomplish them all! if you don’t it’s alright! just DON’T GIVE UP! ever! try again!!
    2018 was about discovery and how 1 show changed things for me! it sounds crazy to alot of people out there but it’s true! I have discovered that I want to do do much in our little world. There are so many ideas that have been running around in my mind that it’s crazy! I’d love to do a round table of 5 ladies where we talk about different things from how we found who we are to a little show and how it changed us. The reason it would be good for me and I’m willing to bet that I’ll learn alot about me and other ladies. I would like to design more spn shirts and jewlery (I’m not artsy but I do have ideas) I have already gotten 2 shirts designed it’s just I don’t have a home for them as far as how much to charge and shipping. I also want to continue to coordinate meet ups at either FBBC , San Jac, Stereo Type anywhere else that would be fun!
    I guess in all of my rambling and go off left field ya’ll can pretty much see what I would love to do this year….. 2019….. back to what this originally was supposed to be is BALANCE…. when it comes to taking care of myself vs overly helping others and placing myself in the backseat. I need to stop doubting what my faith tells me and believe with child-like faith that it WILL happen! I need to stop dismissing myself too bc I have had a habit of doing that. I am worth it and my dreams will come true!
    Gen, I’m here if you need any help or if you are interested in any of my ideas OR if you want to take one and run with it ! You and Danneel are the MOST human and MOST honest ladies please keep going! don’t stop!


    Hi Gen! I just recently had weight loss surgery so i am working to a better an healither me. I follow you and your such an inspiration to me on many fronts. i have cahnged my views on alot of stuff since my surgery. i am much more positive about myself now than i have ever been. Ive been made fun of my whole life.

  • hannah

    I learned not that much in 2018, but what I learned is important for me. Many friends told me that I should try to no if somebody wants something in a situation where I don’t feel comftable, but I’m a person who has then the feeling that I’m letting the person down. And yes, it’s very similar to one of the lessons 2018 taught you, but I think many people knew that problem. I’m very happy that my friend told me to watch Supernatural, because so I found you. You are a really inspiring person and reading your blog really helps me through everyday life. Your blog also helps me to switch off after school no matter how hard the day was. And yeah, I am still in school and like to read what happend in your life. In addition, English isn’t my mother language and reading your blog is training my understanding the English language. In the end I just want to say thank you for document what is happining in your everyday life.

  • Mandy Callen

    Love the words of this post! Everything struck a cord with me- especially #2! It’s hard to remind yourself that not everyone will like you…and that’s ok. Cheers to 2019!

  • Crazy Supernatural fan🤪

    I love how I have the exact same thoughts about guilt and motherhood, and needing help as well as same goals as you but I bet your income is waaaay higher than mine. It goes to show you how similar we all are. I could have written the above^

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